Wearing blue latex gloves, he grabs my leg and runs a firm forearm up and down my tibia, carefully inspecting the shinguards' thin padding. I look towards my corner to see Shen, my coach, watching the inspection closely. All I can muster through my mouthguard is a poorly-mouthed smile. He gives me a nod, and I pray he can see the facade of confidence.
The referee grabs my wrists tightly, jerking my attention back towards him. His red beard hangs haggard as he yells a spiel at me, his beard dancing like a flame. Every word bounces straight off me.
Within a second, he is gone, attending to the girl standing across from me. The tape holding the gloves on my wrists clamps me in place, too claustrophobic to move a muscle. The fluorescent light beading sweat on my brow is nauseatingly bright yet grim all at once.
Lost in thought and fear, I snap back when the referee jumps to the middle of the ring. Hundreds of people surround us, shouting our names, but all I can hear is the valves in my heart ticking rapidly. He points his latex gloves at the two of us and quickly claps them back together, rushing backward, leaving a pathway for only the two of us.
I take my first step forward, and I'm immediately met with flared nostrils looming over a salivating mouthguard. A vein bulges through her forehead as she charges forward, loading her fistful guard and driving it straight into my forearms. Her glove crashes into my defense, allowing a left hand to sneak a swift jab—a quick pop jolting my head back.
The world turns black and empty as I jump forward, feinting my left glove. I grab her guard as my shaking fist flies toward her with zero regard for my safety. Three of my knuckles land cleanly across her chin, nudging her head guard as her eyelids flicker.
With not a second to breathe, we exchange heavy blows over and over. A bell, after an eternity, finally rings. The referee barges between our clinch, directing me to my corner. The adrenaline buzzes my brain as my heavy feet take me to my stool.
I sit wide-eyed at Shen, who is placing a bag of ice on my neck. My arms hang as anchors while my mind runs rampant. "Keep breathing. She came out hot, she'll slow down. You need to..." He speaks calmly, and I listen, but I can't help but let the glooming trepidation take priority. One question dominates all my attention—why am I doing this?
The clock races by, and within seconds, the referee is yelling Shen out of the ring. I'm still catching my breath when the bell rings once again, I dash forward.
A second wave of adrenaline lifts my heavy feet as I feint a right push kick, throwing it down as I launch my heavy right hand. My glove crashes into her headgear as her eyes roll back. Jumping from his seat, Shen shouts, "GO NOW!" Losing all reason, my training takes over, and I throw straight after straight, landing each blow to her swollen face.
With a roar from the crowd, she grabs me in a clinch for safety. She places her glove on my face and pushes my neck backward as she raises her arm high, crashing a catastrophic spear elbow down into my jaw. My consciousness flickers as the blow shatters through my maxilla. Water-like blood overflows my mouthguard as my body seizes. The taste of iron crawls my skin. As I clinch with pain, I can only wonder, why am I doing this?
I hold her tightly as I question quitting. She is stabbing knee after knee into my quad, but I'm too occupied with doubt to care—the past flashes before me, every hour of training, every minute of pain. The blood pours down my chin, and the ache reminds me why I stepped in the ring—Live for the fight.
A battle bigger than physical endurance. My past ignites me as I throw myself back into the moment. We exchange diaphragm-seizing knees to the gut and heavy kicks to the quads. The crowd howls as we exchange ferocious combos throughout the final round. The stress carries my numb callused knuckles, but as I press through a flurry of kicks, the world stops when the bell rings.
She lowers her hands, and there's a pause before we fall into an embrace. Applaud fills the ring as we stand in comradery. Pride falls through my arms as we bow in respect for one another. We share gratitude, as the fight was never between us,
but between ourselves.
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